09 Feb Keeping A Joyful Marriage

“LOVING EVEN IF” We’ve all experienced times when we have been so exasperated, annoyed and aggravated (were those kind descriptions?) with our spouse even though we love them. This is perfectly normal for all couples.

The key is how we handle those times. If we let our emotions take control over us then our marriage will suffer in the long run. We must, together with God, make a choice and decide to love. Emotions will follow our motion.

Unconditional love keeps a marriage alive. In spite of your spouses’ weakness, failures, flaws and faults, remember you are ONE with them and when they are down, our job is to pick them up. You are not enemies! You are simply two imperfect people God has chosen to put together to perfect one-another.

“LOVE TESTED” How would it be to be married to you? That’s a tough and sobering question to ask ourselves. We are just as guilty of so many disagreeable character and attitude flaws and failures. Are you surprised your spouse is still married to you?

If your spouse is slowing drifting away from you, growing cold, losing intimacy don’t just standby doing nothing. It could be that we have been neglecting them for so long that they have given up on us. It’s time to do a complete

makeover of our lives. Start with a spiritual makeover of our hearts through prayer and connecting with God for the strength and power to love unconditionally. Then do a physical makeover if time has taken a toll on you. As we reach out to bridge the gap we will experience a new love healing from hurt.

“LOVE IN ACTION” There is nothing like making a difference in our marriage by putting our thoughts and feelings into action. It doesn’t have to be grand. Even small gestures to our wife or husband will ultimately express our true love for them.

Creatively come up with an action that you know your partner will appreciate. Remember, denying yourself never means doing things begrudgingly. If you show affection, but drag your feet along the way, you may as well not be doing it.

Go on a date at least once a week without the kids. Catch a movie, enjoy great food while you listen to good music or even dance. Traveling out of town for a weekend bonds us even more. Spend time building new memories. Laugh and have silly fun. It’s all about staying intimately in touch with each other’s heart. Moments like these will reignite our marital flame.

“LOVE WITH WORDS” After showing our love in action, it’s great to reinforce it through our words. I’m not talking about cheesy compliments. I talking about opening our heart and sharing from our soul the things that we appreciate about them. Even when there is turmoil in the relationship we can still see the positive attributes they possess. Praise them for the small acts they do for us, and the way they make us feel special. (I know some of you are thinking – I might have to invent some things here) Find words to compliment their special gifts or skills.

We must speak love through Truth. One thing our partners detest is lying. Love never lies! If we need to tell them the truth that hurts, say it with respect, gentleness and humility. Refrain from using phrases that condemn or criticize like “you always,” or “you never.” Use words that help encourage and build up your spouse’s self esteem to improve a relationship. It’s amazing how our heart changes towards our spouse as we consistently speak words of love.

Ptr. Joby and Cindy Soriano